


and i said, fuck it txt cuddling.

by SEOKJN



Series: TXT BFS. THATS IT. [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst?, Cuddling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Huening Kai-Centric, I Tried, M/M, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Soft Choi Beomgyu, Soft Choi Soobin, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Soft Huening Kai, Soft Kang Taehyun, idk how to tag, im sorry huening kai, thank you kang taehyun, txt are bfs bc i said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27612623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEOKJN/pseuds/SEOKJN
Summary: txt are cuddling after the whole event with "TXT ARE A MESS; chapter 1" and it all goes well until soobin falls asleep.[i wrote this at 6am. be sure to read the first chapter of TXT ARE A MESS if u wanna understand]
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Series: TXT BFS. THATS IT. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018822
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	and i said, fuck it txt cuddling.

**Author's Note:**

> i was sad at 6am and i wanted to write so i decided to write this. plz excuse mistakes and yeah B]
> 
> also i hate reading my own works so i havent even read trhu it uhhhhh [sweats]

"how do you even fall in love with four people." soobin suddenly said, while him and his four boyfriends cuddled on his small single bed.

taehyun was the first to respond, "why dont you ask yourself that?"

"no! i was mostly asking yeonjun-hyung, like, how do you fall in love with four separate people at four separate times? this doesnt make sense." 

yeonjun slapped soobin on his leg, the only part of soobins body he could reach.

"shut up."

soobin pouted and leaned more over onto taehyuns body, trying to get farther away from yeonjun.

"stop, im gonna fall." taehyun mumbled into soobins hair. taehyun was closest to the edge of the bed, basically clinging onto soobin for his life.

"its okay, we can fall together." 

"why dont you just fall alone?" beomgyu said from kais chest.

"gyu hyung, thats mean." kai, who was closest to the wall pressed himself as far as he can into said wall so the others can have more room.

yeonjun laughed a breathey laugh from in between beomgyu and kai, his head was on their stomachs while his feet were off the bed.

he stared at the glow in the dark stars and planets on soobins bedroom ceiling.

"im still curious." soobin said.

"well stop." yeonjun said back.

soobin pouted.

it was quiet for a while. all you could hear is breathing and sometimes a shift of the bed. beomgyu fell asleep on kais chest, snoring quietly and with his habit of talking in his sleep, said things awake beomgyu wouldve never said. all the others found it adorable and would laugh when beomgyu said any of their names.

the next to fall asleep was taehyun, who actually did not fall off the bed and instead moved over soobin and was beside beomgyu, their backs were pressed together whe his head was resting on soobins shoulder.

yeonjun practically passed out after kai remembered he hadnt gotten any sleep that night and scolded him. kai ran his fingers on yeonjuns head until he heard yeonjuns soft snoring. he smiled.

"is he asleep?" soobin whispered the question.

kai hummed in response, not wanting to wake any of his boyfriends up.

soobin just hummed back.

they both stayed awake after that. they both were waiting for the other to sleep, kai could tell. kai wasnt going to sleep though.

after a while of fighting his sleep, soobin gave up and left himself relax.

kai waited so he can confirm that his hyung was indeed, asleep before his smile that was on his face turned into a frown and tears appeared in his eyes. he was crying.

his lip trembled and he felt awful. nothing as bad happened to him today so why was he crying? so much happened with his hyungs but not him, why was he crying? all he had to do was comfort his hyungs, why is he crying?

maybe he comforted his hyungs so much he forgot about his own feelings.

god, he was so dumb! if his hyungs can ask for comfort why cant he? why is he afraid to ask for something so simple? it isnt that hard, everyones here right now, beomgyu and yeonjun he can just wake up right now and they wouldnt even need to ask questions, theyd just tell kai everythings fine and there the comfort was. it was that easy, so why cant he just?

maybe its because hes never asked if it before.

he was crying even more now, his cheeks were wet from all his tears, his eyes were red, his lips were trembling so much as he tried to keep quiet. his chest was hurting and he could feel his hands shaking. 

no, his hands couldnt shake he had to keep yeonjun asleep since it comforted yeonjun, and he had to keep his hand intertwined with beomgyus since that what comforts beomgyu, too.

why were his hands shaking? why was his whole body shaking? why cant he see? whats with the ringing in his ears? oh no, he was having a panic attack. not here, kai thought. 

please not here. not after theyre all finally getting some sleep.

kai knew they all hadnt gotten any sleep. he could tell. as he always said, he was good at knowing peoples emotions.

in fact, he hasnt been able to sleep either.

"fuck," he whispered. it was getting even worse and he couldnt breathe. he needed to wake someone up, but how? he cant do that after what happened today, especially with beomgyu and yeonjun—who he was sleeping right next to— he felt guilty which made his panic worsen and he let out a whimper.

"kai?" taehyun.

kai immediately panicked even more.

he let his shaky hand that was on yeonjuns head go towards his face to wipe the tears off. to make it seem like he wasnt crying. he coughed before saying, "sorry, you can go back to-"

his sentence was cut off by another whimper, he really couldnt breathe now. he really was going to pass out. 

he couldnt see. everything was blurry, he was shaking so badly but he couldnt feel his own body.

meanwhile taehyun sat up immediately, shaking the bed which made soobin and beomgyu shift.

taehyun couldnt see kai because his face was covered by his green sleeve, but he could tell something was wrong since he was shaking and whimpering.

he spoke in a whisper and tried to shake beomgyu awake "hyung, wake up. i need to get to kai." 

beomgyu mumbled something and sat up, making yeonjun fall onto his lap. 

taehyun scooted closer to kai on his knees, again with a quiet voice he asked, "kai, can you hear me?" when kai tried to nod his head he asked again, "do you wanna get out of here?" taehyun held out to fingers and put it on kais hand. "yes for your left, no for your right."

when he felt kai hold onto the left finger, taehyun basically pushed yeonjun closer to the edge, where beomgyu found his place in cuddling soobin.

"im gonna pull you down the bed, and then we can go out into the hallway where you can breathe better, alright?" taehyun said grabbing kais arms so he can sit up.

taehyun leaded kai out the door once they were off the bed, holding both of his hands and closing the door once they were out. kai immediately fell to the floor on his knees with a thud.

taehyun was on the floor in a second as well, holding kai so he didnt fall. he ran his hand across kais back, bringing kai the comfort he needed while his head was on taehyuns shoulder.

kai felt guilty because he was being comforted. why cant just accept his own boyfriends love, was he that dumb?

"its okay, you can breathe. no ones here except for us two. follow my breathing, can you do that?" taehyun quietly said once he felt kai breathing quickly. "slowly, okay? everythings okay. you helped everyone else, its time someone helped you, alright?"

kai nodded his head. 

taehyun hummed. so thats what it was, he thought.

"you deserve to have someone help you. you dont have to be guilty, alright? its okay to feel comforted when you need it. no ones gonna say anything because youve helped them alot." 

they stayed like that for almost ten minutes. taehyun rubbing circles into kais back while whispering small reassurances. kai felt comforted, without the guilt wanting to eat him up.

kai brought his head off of taehyuns shoulder and whispered a little "thank you."

taehyun smiled. he wiped kais face with his hands, "you dont have to suffer alone, you know. the fact that you had to wait for us to fall asleep is making me sad, im sorry."

kai shook his head, "no, im sorry. you were sleeping and i-"

"its fine. i know i look like i havent slept in years, but you havent either, also thats not what youre supposed to be apologizing for. now, im gonna get you water, okay?"

taehyun stood up before kai could even respond. 

he helped kai stand up before asking, "do you wanna go back in the room?"

"well, i think a bed is better than anything." kai laughed. 

taehyun was happy that he could laugh after what happened.

they walked into the room to find all three of the others awake.

"what happened?" soobin asked immediately.

"nothi- ow!" kai started before taehyun jabbed his index finger into his back.

"kai..were you crying?" yeonjun asked with concern in his voice once he saw the others face, his eyes were red and his cheeks had tear stains on them. even his hair was sticking up in every direction.

"uh, no-" kai was cut off by taehyun. "he had a panic attack, now watch him while i get water."

kai squinted his eyes at taehyun, who was unbothered and walked out the door.

"...what?" beomgyu said.

"...babie.." yeonjun got up and went to give kai a hug. 

"im fine now! tyunie helped and i-" soobin ran up to kai and yeonjun, locking him in a hug. "im so sorry you had to hide it. im sorry you couldnt ask any of us what was happening. im sorr-" 

"hyung, wait dont cry." kai said feeling himself start to cry again. 

beomgyu watched from the bed, wanting to give kai space since he just had a panic attack, he didnt want kai to be too overwhelmed. though he really wanted to go and give kai a hug, too.

taehyun came back with two bottles of water and set them down on the bedside table. 

"when did it start?" beomgyu asked once taehyun sat down.

"im not sure, i think i woke up when it started to get bad." taehyun said bringing his hand to hold beomgyus, who accepted it. "he looked like he was going to pass out."

"kai, come drink some water. yeonjun-hyung let him go- soobin-hyung you too." taehyun said, watching kai trying to walk over to the bed, failing since yeonjun who was hugging him to death didnt let him. soobin also, didnt let him go from the death hug.

beomgyu laughed as kai wobbled left and right to get to taehyun—who was smiling—to get the bottle of water he was holding out for kai.

"hyung, soob, let him go. you might overwhelm him." beomgyu said pulling soobins arm with his left hand sinc ehis right was still interwined with taehyuns.

"ah, sorry!" soobin said letting himself be pulled onto the bed beside beomgyu.

kai smiled before taking the water and almost drinking the whole bottle. "its fine, soobin-hyung."

they let kai have his space. except for yeonjun who refused to let kai go, claimed that kai was his babie and couldnt be alone after what happened, not like any of them would leave him alone in case it started again.

kai was grateful that they didnt press him to tell them why it happened, beomgyu asked but kai said he'd tell them later once they got some sleep, even taehyun didnt say anything which made kai even more grateful.

he layed in the middle of the small bed, two boyfriends on each of his side. yeonjun and taehyun were on his left with yeonjun still holding on to him tightly. beomgyu was on the other side, his right arm across kais chest with his hand reaching all the way onto yeonjun.

both soobin and taehyun had their legs all the way across beomgyu and yeonjun, their feet on kais legs and their hands holding both of kais, so they were all touching kai. they said so they can all feel if kai starts panicking again.

god, kai felt so comforted and loved.

he closed his eyes and let himself relax for the first time in almost two days.

**Author's Note:**

> also, my attacks are really different and i have no idea how theyre supposed to be so im really sorry if this is not correct (???????)


End file.
